


Bubble Wobble Sidechain

by crowind



Series: Bubble Wobble Sidechain [1]
Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Go Go Pastel Rangers, Lisa is Pastel Red
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24701017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowind/pseuds/crowind
Summary: One session might have been a miracle, but miracle alone couldn't carry a band to the pinnacle. One Hikawa twin rejected her audition, leaving Lisa free for the younger twin to take her into a trip into the entertainment industry. And maybe somewhere along the way Lisa would discover a relationship with music she could call her own.
Relationships: Hikawa Sayo & Imai Lisa
Series: Bubble Wobble Sidechain [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930072
Comments: 66
Kudos: 66





	1. Dreaming of Bubbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which failing one audience meant Lisa was ready for another.

"Ah." 

Lisa stood in front of her open locker, in the middle of slipping one strap onto her shoulder. It was afterschool, the other students were rushing home or to their clubs. Lisa's voice vanished into the sea of locker doors being slammed shut. Yukina had just closed her locker. By chance their eyes met. She stared at the case as if trying to guess its content. 

"You kept your old bass," Yukina said. 

Lisa wondered if Yukina'd have talked to her without it. "Yeah, uh, couldn't get rid of the itch after I got home last night, so I dug this baby out of the storage." 

"Yes, I saw you practicing," said Yukina with a slight frown. Lisa waited. Surely Yukina would ask if it was related to music. Why, or with whom — no bassists, or at least no one at Lisa's level performed alone. But all she said was, "It's good that you haven't thrown it away." 

Thrown it away! Had Lisa fallen so low in Yukina's estimation, flaky and superficial, and impractical enough to throw away such an expensive possession? Pondering the question, Lisa almost didn't notice Hina until she ambushed her from behind. 

"Li-sa-chi! What's that, a guitar?" 

It was rhetorical. Without waiting for her answer, Hina started dragging Lisa by the arm, babbling about an audition. She paused just as abruptly, and Lisa very nearly fell on her. "I forgot, a middie midget wants to see you." 

"Don't call her that. Also don't just drag people — oh hi, Ako. Looking for Yukina?" Lisa asked said middle-schooler, although the answer was obvious from the look of her. When Lisa left CiRCLE last night Ako had barely stopped apologizing. The determined bulge of her cheeks seemed to be more of the same. 

"Lisa-nee, you're coming with me to CiRCLE! I'll per–persu–I'll tell Yukina-san I won't join the band if you're not in it!" 

…Definitely more of the same troublesome persistence. Lisa seized Ako's shoulders. "And I appreciate the thought, Ako, but… here's the thing, don't you want to be in Yukina's band? More than anything?" Ako nodded vigorously. "So you got in. You impressed — " Unconsciously her gaze drifted to Hina, quickly going back to Ako before either noticed it, or the fumble in names that came next. " — well, Yukina. I never meant to audition, remember? My part's done but yours is just beginning. Go get it, tiger!" 

Ako was fighting a losing battle; last night was practically a dream come true for her. It only took a bit more coaxing to send her off to chase Yukina. Lisa felt a bit sorry for her. Maybe Ako was just feeling a bit unnerved having to face not one but two Yukina. But she'd feel sorrier if her presence caused a rift between Yukina and her new friend. 

_Friend is pushing it though… and maybe a rift is what they need? Continuous full resonance can't be good for either…_

Hina shook her out of her brooding, literally. "Come on, the audition's waiting for us!" 

"Nuh-uh, you first. What is this audience that I don't remember signing for?" If Hina were any less haphazard — any less Hina — she'd have commented on how Lisa was still following her even through her protests. Her explanation came in drips. Lisa only had the full picture by the time they were standing in front of a talent agency office and Hina finally took out a brochure for the audition and waved it in her face. 

"You want me to audition for an idol." 

"Huh, really? I thought it was just a _band_ band. But you're going to do it with me! And it's an idol _band_ , Lisa-chi, there's a difference." 

"Hina, do I look like an idol?" Idols were cute and perky and eternally young. Things that didn't apply to Lisa or the style she was going for, even if she wasn't on the extreme edge of _gyaru_. 

Hina seemed to consider it. "Meh, you're going to be wearing make-up and flashy outfits anyway." 

"Okay, fine, leaving that side, I can't play in a band." Yukina had rejected her. Lisa might not have intended to audition along with Ako, but the result was the same. 

Hina said, "Sure you can. So Yukina-chan rejected you. But now you got a bass with you, and you've taken off your fake nails. Seems to me you wanna play right after school. Like a real band kid, see!" 

Self-conscious, Lisa curled her trimmed nails into her palms. "I was going to give it one last spin before giving it away…? Selling it…?" Even Lisa herself wasn't convinced. 

"So why not audition? Give it a ba-ba-bam send-off, and if you don't get in, welp, that's it." 

Hina's eyes could be green like broken glass and twice as sharp. Last night Lisa had stared down the colder, prettier model. Sayo hadn't thought she had 'it', whatever 'it' meant. Of the four people whose sounds had come together in CiRCLE last night, only Lisa didn't have 'it'. So Lisa had unclenched her smarting hands and bent her neck. The embers Sayo had ignited still smoldered even now. Surely Lisa didn't have what it would take, it goaded, if even an idol band scared her so much. 

This afternoon she stared into Hina's doe eyes and thought, surely Hina too didn't believe she had 'it', idol or bandsman — Hina hadn't seemed to care what kind of a band it was. Surely anyone would do, Lisa was just the closest gullible idiot with an instrument. But neither could Lisa leave her alone. Hina seemed to know even less about idols; who knew what she could get up to left on her own devices? 

So Lisa rolled her shoulders and said, "Fine. We've come all the way here, and I've got nothing better to do today." 

Hina's thousand-watt smile was infectious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually one of the earliest ideas I had for this fandom, finally materialized. Updates will be fairly short, and the story itself should be on the short side. 
> 
> Twitter @jaycrowind. Any kinds of comments are welcome.


	2. Like A Real Band Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Pastel*Palettes is finally formed less than two weeks before their debut show.

Lisa twiddled her thumbs, sitting still as a mechanical doll. The chair creaked with the smallest movements, and now was not the time to draw attention to herself. A talent agency's office, even one that managed idols, was still an ordinary office with an ordinary set of sometimes-dubious furniture. Anyway it wasn't her turn in the spotlight. Pastel*Palettes was finally assembled. Bashfully rolling her glasses between her palms, Maya seemed to glow more than she had while she had them on. 

Or maybe it was just the sunlight peeking through the formerly-white curtains. For a moment Chisato's smile glowed too, lighting up like a headlight, then it was gone, leaving only the embossed curves behind. 

"Well then, now that this issue's settled," Chisato said smoothly, "unfortunately I must leave for my next appointment." 

"Wait – ah," Aya started, but seemed to bite her tongue. 

Lisa stood. The chair's noise gave her the delay she needed. "Chisato, before you go, we should try to schedule for a group rehearsal. Even if we aren't — well, we're still a band, so it'd look much better if we could move as one." 

It really was a pretty smile, Lisa thought. No wonder Chisato kept it on as long as she could. "You're quite right, Lisa-chan, we must also pretend to play as one, as bands do. I'll make the time… perhaps this Friday?" 

Friday would only leave them with exactly one week before the live show, but what could Lisa say against a bona fide actress? And Chisato had casually spoken the word Lisa had carefully ellided, as if saying, _Don't get carried away, Lisa-chan._ Well, Chisato was the veteran and Lisa the greenhorn, and if they had anything in common it was the desire for Pastel*Palettes to succeed. They all wanted Pastel*Palettes to succeed, which was why everyone, even Hina, hung onto Chisato's guidance. 

After Chisato, Maya also begged off rehearsal with a more sincere apology, and a promise to attend the next one for sure. That left her with a disappointed Aya and a vibrating Hina. Lisa turned to the latter, asking if she too had to go. 

"Nah! But look who's rarin' to go like a real band kid, Lisa-chi." 

Lisa picked up her bass from where it rested in the corner. "Ahaha… I'm just trying to do my job. Aya, wanna come with?" 

Aya seemed pensive about the prospects of practicing without an instructor. Actually, Aya had seemed pensive since the meeting ended. Of everyone, Aya managed to hide her dissatisfaction over having to lip-sync the least (Hina had let it slip to Lisa that Chisato wasn't entirely happy about it either). So Lisa added, "If we practice on our own we can fix the mistakes the instructor pointed out yesterday, so for the next meeting we can work on new parts." 

The staff who managed the studio room seemed perplexed to see them outside of the scheduled practice sessions, but helped them set up the equipments. Hina had just bought an electric guitar yesterday, light blue to contrast Lisa's red, and to match her older sister's. 

"You have an older sister, Hina-chan?" asked Aya. It was as if she'd flicked on a mega-watt switch. Hina's entire body became animated and stars lit up her eyes. Only adoration poured out of her mouth. Even at the best of times Hina was unstoppable. 

Aya said, "It must be nice that now you two can play together," and yet again she seemed to have hit a switch. 

Hina fairly simmered down, even clouded over. "Yeah, maybe. I haven't told her I'm in a band, though." 

It was the piece Lisa needed to reconcile Yukina's grim partner—underboss?—and Hina's perfect older sister. Somewhat. She had a feeling it wasn't the full story. But it wasn't the time for it either. Lisa said, "There's still time before our premiere, yeah? So we should practice so that you could show her your best face." 

Aya chuckled. "Hina-chan's right, you're really fired up, Lisa-chan, even if we're only going to be pretending. It's making me feel like I gotta take this seriously, too." 

"It's just what Hina said yesterday," Lisa deflected, "As long as we perform perfectly, it'd be as good as if we made the sounds ourselves." 

A good form made for a good sound, she remembered that much from her younger days. For the time being, Lisa needed to catch up to the studio musicians' recording — for all of them, in fact, perfect imitation alone would mark a vast improvement. 

She kept the cynical thought to herself. Aya wouldn't let up, however. "But you've played the bass before, right? So I've got to at least catch up to you first." 

Hina's stare reminded Lisa too much of her older sister's. She turned away as she tuned her bass. Vaguely saying, "That's exaggerating — I took a break, but in the same period you were training to be an idol. Actually, tell you what, we're all on the same level when you think about it. Except Maya, we're all new to this gig, even Chisato has never acted as a musician of any kind." 

"I'm not," Hina said, "I can play better than you." 

_Okay, all of us who aren't multi-talented geniuses, then._ "Well, sure, but in a band? That reminds me, Hina, could you maybe not ad-lib here?" Lisa pointed at a point on the score which was decidedly not marked for improvisation. In fact 'ad-lib' was not written anywhere on the score.

Hina pouted. "Eh, why, didn't it sound nice?" 

"It did, but the venue's pretty small, right, so people can see your hands. It might get troublesome if someone notices your playing doesn't match the sound coming out from the speakers." Which would, after all, be a recording of the studio musicians, consistent and adhering to the score. 

Hina blew raspberries, but agreed to give it a try. And finally they could begin rehearsal. Lisa supposed this was what being in a band, even an idol band was like: negotiating five people's schedules, working around each member's personal hangups when they arose, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that a bandmate disapproved of every inch of her being. She didn't think of Yukina's potential reaction to her faking it on stage — in the first place, Yukina wouldn't be thinking of Lisa at all. 

(And surely Sayo's opinion of her couldn't go lower.) 

But a band, especially an idol band, provided her with the lessons she sorely needed, and even the impossible two weeks deadline — that the agency surely hadn't meant to be a deadline — gave her an excuse to practice like her life depended on it. Someday she would be just as good, and she could stop pretending. For the time being, it was worth swallowing what little pride she had as a musician. So she kept telling herself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sayo might actually make an appearance at some point. Eventually.


	3. Strike One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sayo finally appears in a flashback.

Lisa didn't fully understand why she had to play along for Ako's audition, but she was starting to feel equal parts excitement and apprehension anyway. Yukina wasn't asking her to relive the good old days, she told herself, Yukina wasn't asking anything of her. It was Ako's time under the spotlight to be scrutinized by Yukina and her eagle-eyed partner. Because that was what was going on, wasn't it? Yukina had finally found someone worthy of standing by her side, gotten the green light to roll down the road to the Future World FES. And now they were assembling the rest of the supporting cast. Lisa had given up her right to be a part of Yukina's ambitions when she'd quit the bass. The only thing left was to play flawlessly, not that she might impress Yukina, but so as to support Ako. 

Her fingers were clumsy at first, the left stretching awkwardly to avoid clawing the fretboard, the right belatedly remembering that she'd used to play with her fingers, not a pick. Lisa hadn't meant to ever resume playing the bass again and it showed, to Sayo most of all. She had no time for warm-up, however. The session started with the drums. Ako had picked the song, though it had taken some time to pick one that everyone knew by heart. It was a rock standard, one that Lisa herself had practiced all those years ago. To say her body remembered would be a lie. It scraped along, barely playing with the right rhythm, barely plucking the right pitches. But here was the magic of a live session: the sounds sought each other, and once found never letting go, becoming live music that swelled and grew like a living thing. Sooner rather than later, her left hand slid along the strings in tune to Sayo's lead, and her right hand picked as Ako's kick drum boomed. Together, they propelled Yukina's voice higher. 

But magic wasn't enough for Sayo. A miracle might've worked for one session, but the band would perform many more performances, through increasingly higher hurdles. How could they rely on such a fickle thing? Sayo's gaze burned on Lisa as she voiced her doubt, cold as ice. Her demeanor had been forbidding since they first laid eyes on each other, intensifying as Sayo noticed and rebuked her artificial nails, and now it could only be called contempt. This vapid _gyaru_ , how could you possibly trust her to be fully devoted? The issue had always been not Lisa's skills but her character, however much Sayo wanted to put on the airs of being completely objective. 

Lisa hadn't hoped much from Yukina, but she was still disappointed when she didn't defend her even out of principle. Though that was unfair to Yukina; her principle was excellence and persistence in music. In that light, Lisa had disqualified herself long before the audition. Her integrity challenged, there was only one way Yukina could respond. Neither Yukina nor Sayo did her wrong by sticking to their principles. 

Still, an ember of indignation remained burning long after she'd left CiRCLE. Lisa was used to being dismissed for her appearance. Her musical skills, well, they spoke for themselves, didn't they? She'd be more worried if they'd been found adequate. But she'd never let them get her down. In the end her diligence and sincerity made up for unfavorable first impressions. She had never met one person who'd seen beyond the surface and still disdained her. No one, until she met one Hikawa Sayo. 

So Lisa cut her nails and re-upholstered her bass. She used the agency's studio when she was allowed to, and forewent club activities and hang-outs in favor of practicing the bass until late at night. A challenge was a challenge even if the other person didn't realize she'd issued it. 

Two weeks later, Lisa was part of a different band playing on stage. The spotlights dazzled, the sweat on her brows were distracting, and she knew in her bones, even if her ears were telling her differently, that she had just plucked the string a millisecond too slow. It was the fifth time. She'd been keeping count to keep herself engaged. It was unexpectedly hard to concentrate knowing that her bass, though plugged in, was not turned on. Hard to, when she didn't need to respond to the whims of her bandmates, all pretending to play. 

Though their debut performance went without a hitch (Aya's slips during the intermezzos were expected and accounted for) Lisa couldn't help but feel she'd just lost. That although Sayo herself couldn't care less, Lisa had just proven her right. 


	4. Studio Magic

Chisato had the seat of honor today, nonchalantly depositing herself on the creaky chair before Hina could command it. She sat and answered the interview with poise. Such was a veteran. Her presence helped calm the group's nerves for their first interview. 

The very next morning after their debut show saw all members of Pastel*Palletes sat around the usual meeting room at the agency. Their manager hovered around the exit, allowing the girls freedom to answer the questions and ready to step in when either sides went out of bounds. So far he hadn't needed to. Their interviewer was a smartly-dressed woman who took things easy. Making light jokes when Aya's tongue slipped, which was often since she kept Aya talking the most. Lisa supposed it made sense. Despite how she looked, Aya had trained to be an idol longer than anyone, even Chisato. 

"I've always wanted to be an idol since I was little," Aya said, bubbly once again despite lisping earlier. "Ever since I saw… A—my favorite idol, she said, in an interview, hahaha probably one just like this — oops, maybe I shouldn't have — " her gaze fell on the tape recorder on the table. It must have stored enough samples of her stuttering. 

The reporter waved her on, and Aya continued. "Uh, well, she said that hard work is what makes dreams come true. And since watching her and following her and her group is giving me such hopes and dreams, I decided that I wanted to be like her too. I want to inspire people so they'd also try their best to realize their dreams." 

"How wonderful," the reporter said kindly, and Aya preened, self-conscious but in no hurry to deny the praise. And Lisa could see it — for this brief moment in a mundane no-nonsense office and not on the dazzling stage of yesterday, Aya was radiant. The brilliance of singleminded pursuit of a dream. Lisa remembered a very different girl, ten years ago among the white clovers. She found herself nodding earnestly; she understood exactly what Aya had felt. 

Chisato's answer gained her a different sort of respect. Lisa took notes. It would surely be useful to give an answer that did not answer anything in particular. Hina was starting to get impatient, however, and she leapt at the chance when the question made its round to her. She blurted the answer before the interviewer finished her sentence. "Because it seemed boppin'! And because now I'd get to be the lead guitarist of a band like my older sister!" 

"Hikawa-san found her way to us through an audition," Chisato interjected before Hina could wax poetic about Sayo. Lisa didn't have much time to admire how easily she'd slipped through the minuscule pause in Hina's rapid fire talk. Just as smoothly, Chisato said, "The same audition that brought us Imai-san as well." 

Then suddenly it was Lisa's turn to talk. Although she'd also prepared her answers, Chisato's surprise attack left her stumbling. It didn't help that it must've sounded as if she was copying Hina. Idol groups — even an idol band — had this thing about clean differentiation between the members. But she couldn't help that her motivation was the opportunity to play in a band, like the counterfeit music enthusiast that she was. Or that her primary cause was not music itself. Maybe Sayo was right that her less than pure motivation had no place in Yukina's band. 

The interview was short. A couple of questions later they were winding down. As the reporter closed with wishing that she had watched their debut performance, Chisato, or Aya, was supposed to tell her of the upcoming show planned for the next month. So Aya did, but something had possessed Lisa to add, "But we wouldn't mind giving you a short preview of what's to come." 

Chisato's placid look seemed ominous, but Lisa was waiting for the manager's response, anyway. Still, she hadn't expected her to nod after a second's quick thinking. But it would have to be truly short, one verse. So they piled into the studio. The cameraman had switched to video mode. 

"It'll be fine," Lisa whispered to a visibly nervous Aya. "It's just like rehearsals. We'll do the easiest song." 

Aya nodded, taking a deep breath. There was no time to pep talk the others, they'd all taken positions. Well, Maya and Hina probably didn't need it, and Chisato… 

Lisa had to leave imagining Chisato's growing annoyance with her for later. Maya had started counting, one, two, three, four… 

One and a half minutes later, Lisa was relieved to say they were, if not quite proficient and flawless, qualified to be a real teen band. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Act 1 of 3.


	5. Magpie in Wonderland 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sayo finally makes an appearance.

She made the mistake again, almost as if burned into her muscle memory. On the penultimate measure before the chorus, when Aya was holding a high note and Hina, Maya, and Chisato ramped up the tension in unison. Within that gap was Lisa's one and only chance in the entire song to fill in. She had practiced the same part over and over until it was as easy as flipping a coin. Head, all notes landed successfully. Tail, her fingers tripped over each other. The result didn't matter either way, as the speakers continued blaring the perfect, pre-recorded music. Well, almost perfect, stitched together from many, many takes, but at the very least it was their own, Pastel*Palettes' authentic performance. Lisa and Aya'd had to fight tooth and nail and promised the moon — perfection on stage. The management only gave the approval, and only for one song, because Chisato threw in her voice out of pity. Thanks to the recording, no one would know Lisa had made three mistakes so far. The irony wasn't lost on her. 

By the end her tally had gone up to twenty. Lisa was starting to despair being good enough to be allowed to perform live. If Yukina or Sayo had witnessed her performance — supposing they hadn't left by the intro of the opening song… 

"… Lisa-chan to join us down on earth. Well, Lisa-chan, did we reach your exacting standards?" 

Chisato's smile was pleasant, her gaze less so. Or maybe it was just Lisa's embarrassment for wool-gathering. As she came back to herself, Hina laughed, feet kicking in the air, inadvertently drawing Chisato's disapproval. "Ahaha, you actually said it, Chisato-chan! Stage Lisa-chi was sooo cool, almost like a different person. But even Chisato-chan's still bibbity. Probably because we're just acting." 

"H-Hina-chan, I'm sure Chisato-chan put in her best, too. We all did. Though it'd be nice if we could've played for real," said Aya. Lisa bit her tongue. This complaint came up often enough even Chisato's professional mask could only last so long. Though a part of Lisa dearly wanted to see that mask come off. 

Perhaps as Hina had pointed out, their successful performance had left Chisato in a good mood. She said, "I'm sure someday we'll reach the point where we're worthy of such confidence. Isn't that the point of being an idol?" 

Aya nodded, bouncing. Hina too kicked herself off the armchair she was sitting on. "Bibbity. Hey, hey, it's not that late yet, let's go somewhere. Not just somewhere, let's have a sleepover at my house!" 

Maya looked at her phone. "Sorry, Hina-san, but I gotta run some errands while the train's still running." 

"And I as well," said Chisato smoothly, wishing them good night before anyone could stop her. 

"Maybe next time, Hina-chan?" Aya said. 

That left Lisa alone with a pouty Hina. "Well, I don't really have anything to do — " 

In a fit of deja vu, Hina practically dragged Lisa back to her flat. Her parents wouldn't be back until morning, she said, but her older sister should be home. The prospect of introducing Sayo to Lisa seemed to excite her more than anything. 

"Hina, you mentioned she also played guitar?" 

"Yup! My sister's amazing! She's not afraid to get into anything, and then get out when she's got enough. The guitar's the longest she's stuck to one thing, though." 

Lisa thought of Ako, and wondered if all younger sisters were born with stars in their eyes. "Sounds like she's just like you, in a way. You, ah, also get in and out of things quickly." That was an understatement. Hina absorbed the basics the moment she picked up a new activity, and got bored just as soon. Until Pastel*Palettes, and how long until their shine wear off? 

Hina pulled on her straps, pensive rather than pleased. Odd. Belatedly Lisa wondered if it meant anything that the twins went to different schools. "She never stuck around long enough after I got into it, so we never got to do things together lately. And actually I've promised to get out of her hair… But I was thinking." Suddenly, the shine was back in her eye. "Maybe guitar's the one. A band can be made of two guitars, yeah? As many as would be boppin', even." 

"I… guess?" 

Lisa kept her doubt to herself. She knew Sayo less, but supposedly it was normal, wasn't it, to want to self-actualize. They were, Sayo, Hina, Lisa, everyone, still on the cusp of adulthood, in the springtime of youth, the golden age of rebellion, blah blah. And if one had a twin, let alone a twin like Hina, and if one's personality was as intense and individualistic as Yukina's… 

Lisa shook off her speculation. Too much projection. And in any case they'd arrived at the Hikawas' flat. Even better, they were coming face to face with the object of their discussion. 

"Ah, Onee-chan," Hina said. The faint undertone of anxiety in her voice made Lisa do a double take. 

Sayo paused in the middle of unlocking the door. A guitar case was strapped to her back. Yukina must've kept her practicing until late, Lisa thought, or the other way around. _Wonder who broke first._ Sayo's perpetual frown seemed to deepen. "Hina," she said, glaring at their instruments and then Hina's arm, wound tight and cutting off the blood flow to Lisa's hand. "And Imai-san. I suppose you might want to come inside." 

"You knew Lisa-chi?" Hina said as they shuffled inside. 

Sayo shrugged. "Hina, stop manhandling your guest." To Lisa, "Feel free to use our bathroom first." She disappeared into her room. 

"You guys met without me?" Hina demanded, shaking Lisa like a ragdoll. 

_Forget about that, Sayo remembered me!_ "H-Hey, look, Sayo told you to let me — " 

"You're on first name basis?!" 

Sayo poked her head into the living room. "Hina, I told you — " 

Hina fled to the bathroom before Sayo could finish her threat. "Tch, that girl," Sayo muttered. As only Lisa was left, it seemed her reproach fell on her, but her gaze… tempered, less annoyed but not any more welcoming. 

Normally allergic to awkward silence, here in the Hikawas' living room Lisa felt like crawling out of her skin. "Uh, sorry for intruding." 

"Not at all. As a matter of fact, I should apologize for Hina's lack of manners." 

"Oh, I don't mind, Hina's been a very good friend." 

There, they'd met the bare minimum standard of decorum. Now they could return to their respective worlds — 

Finger tangled around her hair, eyes too pretty to meet Lisa's, Sayo mumbled, "It's a little too late for tea, but would you like chocolate, or perhaps hot milk?" 

— or not. Lisa nodded. "How could I ever possibly refuse? That means yes," she added hastily as Sayo shot her an incredulous look, a scathing retort half-forming in her mouth. 

_Somehow both more and less awkward than Yukina, got it,_ noted Lisa. She just knew tonight wouldn't be the last conversation she'd have with Sayo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a not too interesting and not too important note, unlike my older works this Lisa is Yukki's.


	6. Strike Two

PasuPare's practice session was going well. Lisa was getting to the point where she could play and listen for the others without losing her hold. It wasn't a great achievement — they were practicing their very first song ever, the group's theme song so to speak, they should've been able to play it in their sleep by now. But they'd finally got Hina to stick to one improv for the entire session, and Chisato was starting to sway naturally to the music she was playing. Good that they'd improved, because if all went well, the next live concert, a mere two weeks away, would finally see them performing in truth. The news made everyone excited, even Chisato, unless Lisa had misread her trepidation. Two months of acquaintance and Lisa still couldn't see past her co-worker's mask. She wondered if Chisato hadn't ever got tired of acting all day everyday. 

But that was a mystery for another time. Aya choked and Maya called for a stop, and before they could start again Chisato was already excusing herself. 

"You'll have to carry on without me," she said, smile on point, "I must get to my next job." 

"Boo. The drama thing you're not letting us watch." 

Chisato snorted. "Hina-chan, most people aren't allowed to watch the rehearsals. Though I can't very well stop you from coming to the opening day." 

Hina waved her off. "Not too boppin', but — Lisa-chi, where are you going?" 

Lisa too was packing her bass, though more quietly. More cowardly, rather. "Ahaha, sorry Hina, but I gotta go, too." 

Hina crossed her arms, sliding to block the exit. Confused, Aya said, "Uh, Hina-chan, technically the session's over?" 

"That's cuz no one can stop Chisato-chan, but we didn't hear nothin' about Lisa-chi's excuse." Hina was suddenly in her face. "Fess up, Lisa-chi. What were you talking about with Onee-chan the other day? Onee-chan was asking about _you_ after you went home." 

Huh. For some reasons Lisa had pegged Sayo as compulsive planner who'd do all her research beforehand. But first, soothing Hina's jealousy. Because Lisa could maybe understand the pang of your sister preferring to spend time with your friend. If that was what it was. She felt like she barely scratched the surface of the Hikawa twins' problems. 

Lisa raised her hands in mock surrender. "Hey, you know, that surprised me too, but I'm also gonna be actually late, so can I take raincheck for, uh, tomorrow at school?" 

Hina's look said she wouldn't be likely to forget this one. Lisa tossed goodbye over her shoulder at Aya and Maya and dashed out of the studio. 

She was cutting it very close. She very nearly ran into CiRCLE, and paused by the designated studio, nervously fiddling with her hair. Then remembering that it wouldn't impress the people on the other side of the sound-proofed door, she took a deep breath and entered. 

Ako saw her first. "She's here! Come in, Lisa-nee!" 

Lisa did so, self-conscious as hell. Ako's loudness made sense. Yukina and Sayo seemed to have been locked in a staring contest until her entry. Yukina's lips were pressed thin in a way that was familiar to Lisa, and therefore slightly less ominous than Sayo's. Lisa ventured, "Uh, is this a bad time?" 

Yukina looked her up and down and crossed her arms over the neck of her bass. Yukina with a bass almost as long as she was tall, now that's a sight. "I suppose there's nothing to it since you're already here. But Lisa, if you prove to be unsuitable — " 

"I get it, I've practiced, I won't make too many mistakes!" Well, she'd try to, but Yukina never liked mealy-mouthed promises. "And if I do, you're free to sack me." 

Not that this seemed to have pleased Yukina either. If anything she scowled. "Roselia is not frivolous like your idol band." 

And while Lisa was surprised Yukina had known about her new line of work, she set it aside for now. "Yeah, I know, you're trying to outdo yourselves with every show. Sayo's given me the briefing. I know I'm only here because it's an emergency, and it's only for this one job." 

Sayo had also told her she'd discussed it with Yukina, or would, or at any rate she'd have secured Yukina's okay before the rehearsal. Her sales pitch: the bassist they'd found had quit before a show, and since they were opening for another band they couldn't cancel. Yukina had valiantly attempted to learn the bass, but it had become clear she couldn't sing and play at once, not to Sayo and Yukina's exacting standards. More Sayo than Yukina, as it became clear to Lisa now. _Am I still coming between Yukina and Sayo when they're already not as tight without my interference?_

Another heartstopping beat passed before Yukina finally slipped the bass off her shoulder and put it on a stand. She took the mic in both hands. Glaring at Sayo, promising there would be retribution later, she said to Lisa, "Try to keep up. We don't have much time left." 

And so began the most grueling two weeks for Lisa's fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is brought to you by Wahl.
> 
> It's probably inevitable that as this story is retreading the "what if Lisa isn't a part of Roselia" plot it also retreads several subplots from my other fic, but hopefully the results are different this time.


	7. Carrot and Stick and Stone

"By the way, Lisa-nee — " 

"Udagawa-san, please don't speak while chewing in someone's face." 

Ako stuffed her half-bitten cookie, chewing at top speed and throwing a nervous look at Sayo. So did Lisa, amused. Sayo nibbled at hers daintily, more like a kid savoring her favorite expensive food than any attempt at maintaining her image. Hina, fed with half of the same batch earlier together with the other PasuPare members, had devoured everything in one gulp and demanded for more. 

Ako said, "Anyway, I haven't seen you at dance club lately. And the prez said you'd quit?" 

"Aha, yeah, funny story, that. Turns out you can't work two bands and a part-time job and join extracurricular clubs and not fail exams somehow." Lisa's math had been simple. It all came down to money, as most things did. Lisa was still a minor, and moreover wanted the insurance of a university degree in case the idol thing didn't work out. Plus she promised her parents. Whether she liked it or not school earned top priority. After that came her convenient store job — as a lowly local idol she was burning more than earning money. That left only the school clubs and socialization. Since she'd been ghosting the tennis club anyway, only the dance club was left for her ceremonial ship burning. It wasn't a huge loss — as an idol Lisa was still expected to dance. 

But Ako was making such a kicked puppy face Lisa couldn't help but feel guilty anyway. Just a little. "Aw come on, Ako, I'm trading the clubs for Roselia, isn't it so much cooler?" 

Ako perked up. "Roselia's the coolest!" 

Noticing that the two buying drinks still hadn't come back — odd, given that Lisa'd needed to pull a sleight of hand to get her to declare a much needed break — Ako volunteered to find them. Leaving Lisa alone to deal with Sayo's furtive glances. 

"I know that look. Let me guess, 'if you have the time to bake cookies then you have the time to practice bass more'?" And she'd be right to think that. Lisa was barely keeping up during band rehearsals. 

Sayo frowned. _Ah, there's another face Hina could never make._ "I'm not so uncouth as to think that while enjoying the fruits of your labor. More importantly, your skills have improved since our first meeting." 

The compliment sneaked on Lisa and mugged her words. She managed, "I, uh, well, I was practically a beginner, anyone who's practiced for even an hour would be better than me back then." 

"Precisely. Therefore any improvements could only be due to your hard work. Take pride in that, Imai-san, that is what true music is." _Unlike your gaudy and fraudulent idol band?_ But there was none of that contempt in Sayo's voice. Lisa wondered if Sayo even knew they were faking most of their performance. Hina would've never told her. Lisa wouldn't either, though the shame of it killed her with each rehearsal with Roselia. 

Even so, Sayo wasn't the type to throw out compliments without purpose. Lisa braced herself. Sayo continued, "It is the foundation on which Roselia was founded. Only by our music shall Roselia be known. Talent has no meaning in music, only consistent and relentless hard work will produce the best music. 'Good enough' is meaningless. Roselia accepts nothing but the best." 

Lisa nodded along. Yukina had said something similar a long time ago, back when she'd still found Lisa worthy of sharing her thoughts. It was also interesting to hear from the local genius's much vaunted twin. The more she got to know either, the more it became obvious things weren't quite all right between them. If it was anything within her power to help with… 

But currently Sayo was giving her a dubious look, probably suspecting that Lisa wasn't taking her seriously. Lisa said, "Oh, no, I was just thinking I'm glad Yukina has someone who shares her ideals, someone who could help her realize her dreams. Thank you, Sayo." 

Sayo seemed taken aback, suddenly unsure. "I was not seeking your gratitude." 

"I know. You and Yukina were desperate enough to swallow your pride, and yet — ahaha, you're not here to listen to me complain. But I'll work harder, you'll see. I won't embarass Roselia." Lisa grinned, but Sayo's frown only deepened. _Oops, you just had to go overboard there, Lisa_. 

Sayo said, "Would you let me finish? All I meant to say was that I was wrong to judge you by your appearance." 

Her ears reddened and her voice vanished toward the end. But before Lisa could ask her to repeat it, Ako entered the studio noisily, followed by Yukina rebuking her for making a noisy entrance. The session resumed. 

Despite her grandiose promise to Sayo, by the end Lisa didn't feel as though she'd made any progress. Good enough for an idol band, definitely unacceptable for an indie band — for a band which truly cared for the music in itself. Dejected, she almost didn't notice she was heading home alone with Yukina until the other three had parted halfway. Come to think of it, it had been forever since they'd last gone home together. Lisa pulled herself together, determined to make the best of it. 

Mustering her usual brightness, she said, "So how's the cookies?" 

Yukina eyed her warily. "If you thought cookies could make up for your mistakes, I'd rather you hadn't bothered." 

Brutal as always, Lisa's childhood friend. Her smile felt strained. Yukina didn't seem to notice. "I practice at home too, but sometimes I gotta take a break before I set my fingers on fire, you know?" 

"Lisa, if this is all just a game for you — " 

"Of course not!" Lisa sighed. All the fatigue she hadn't allowed herself to feel crashed on her shoulders. "Sorry. I swear I'm taking this seriously. It's just…" 

Her throat clamped up under Yukina's glare. "Are you giving up?" Lisa shook her head. Yukina said, "Then you don't have the time to complain or throw a pity party." 

Now Lisa couldn't speak for a different reason. Yukina too avoided looking at her. Ah, Lisa thought, the night was still young. She was tired and homework waited for no girl, but already she was planning tonight's practice. 

Her voice was functioning again by the time they'd arrived. Lisa called, and miraculously Yukina waited for her. "I won't let you down," Lisa said doggedly. For Sayo, who'd given her a second chance, and Ako and Rinko, who respected Yukina more than she probably deserved. But mostly, always, for old time's sake, it was always Yukina. 

Yukina's forehead, unmarred by habitual frowning, suddenly sported the angriest lines Lisa had ever seen. "I'd rather you do this for yourself." 

Good night, she said with finality and entered her house. Lisa lingered just a minute longer to look at the dark sky — new moon, and too late into the 21st century to see stars. But they were there still, shining without regards to her ability to see them. Then Lisa stepped into her own house. 


	8. This Is Roselia

When Lisa thought about it, maybe it was strange she'd picked the bass. In sixth grade the bass'd been as long as she was tall, and weighed considerably on her narrow shoulders. Uncle Minato’s band had a lead guitarist who fit the bill the way Hina did but not Sayo: creative and arresting. And Yukina's father was of course very cool. But it was the bassist who had earned Lisa's attention, and the bassline she had fallen in love with. The bass connected the rhythm to the harmony, and anchored the guitar and vocals so that they may fly freely. 

When Yukina's father had asked which she'd wanted to learn, Lisa had answered without thinking. Without checking with Yukina — a second later, when she did, Yukina had seemed taken aback. With hindsight, Lisa thought Yukina had seemed disappointed. She wondered what Yukina had wanted for her — the guitar perhaps, the other life of her father's band besides the vocals? But Lisa had made her first step into music without Yukina's input. 

_What'd you have me pick?_ She sorely wanted to ask Yukina, more to calm her nerves. It certainly was getting to her. The small waiting room of CiRCLE, with Roselia huddled in one corner and the other two bands who'd perform after them in the other corners. Yukina sitting on the sofa with her eyes closed. Cats or the upcoming songs, either way she was lost in her own world. Rinko as well. Ako was vibrating with the effort to sit still. And Sayo stood by as if standing guard. 

For maybe the tenth time Lisa shifted the strap on her shoulder, catching Sayo's impassive stare as she looked up. "Ahah, sorry, am I annoying you?" 

Sayo's frown deepened. "I'd thought you would be used to performing live," she said neutrally, and therefore the censure in her words was as strong as Lisa wanted it to be. _Let's try… none._

"It's different." This was the real deal, no pre-recorded tracks would save her from embarrassing everyone. But of course Lisa couldn't say it. "The atmosphere is different. I mean, even the people I'm playing with are different. You and Hina have exactly opposite playing styles it's giving me a whiplash going from one session to the other." 

The frown still hadn't let up, neither did the frost. "Is that so." 

"Trying to keep up with Hina's ad-libs could be fun, but it's also like playing two basses at once. But I like your playing style too. Your guitar's steady, kind of like a lighthouse so I'll always know where I am, and it's nice that I can trust you to always be there, you know? Like now, you're checking up on me." 

"This is neither the time or place to be nervous." Sayo's hand drifted up. She seemed to remember the make-up layering her face just in time, and gripped her wrist to let off steam instead. "Your performance will affect the entire band. Don't confuse practicality with kindness." 

"I don't think I am. You don't benefit any from warning me, so that'd have to come out of kindness just now, right?" 

Sayo's eyes widened for a second. The words "You're incorrigible," escaped her lips as if unintentionally. It didn't sound bad to Lisa's ear, actually the opposite, so she beamed back with a "I like you, too!" 

… And after all that, and the awkward-but-not-really silence that ensued, somehow there was still time before the show. Again, Sayo broke it first. "Most likely, Minato-san would want to hold a review session after the show, but you need not participate in it, should you wish to rest in preparation for your other show with Hina tomorrow." 

Consideration for Lisa herself or Hina? Lisa wondered. Or because there was no point in reviewing a one-time temp? Not that it mattered. 

“I’ll see how I feel about it. A review session’d be helpful for me, too.” And, she thought more soberly, it’d be the last moment she’d be a part of Yukina’s band. _It’ll come when it comes._ Here and now, an idea came to her. “Hey, Sayo, got anything to do tomorrow? Are you really gonna have a rehearsal so soon after a show?” 

“Actually, we do. In the afternoon,” Sayo said cagily, as if she’d guessed Lisa’s next question. 

“Well, if you’re up for a change, I’ve got an extra ticket for tomorrow.” Carefully, Lisa added, “Hina would be happy to see you.” 

Strike one. If that sort of appeal could’ve worked on Sayo she’d already have the ticket from Hina. But Sayo didn't seem to, and the corners of her lips made a sharp downturn. "Of course Hina would, that was never the question." Sayo cut herself short. "I'm sorry, Imai-san. It's not you — but now is not the time to speak of this." 

"Not now, but what about later? I mean, if you do want to talk about it." 

Strike two. Lisa had played it too fast. She hadn't known Sayo long, and if Sayo was anything like Yukina it'd have to take much longer to be taken into her confidence. The combination of Sayo's grimace and hard stare almost made her apologize. 

Before she could, Yukina called them. "Sayo, Lisa. It's time." 

— 

The thing that struck her first was how quiet the audience were compared to PasuPare's audience. It was only Roselia's second live show, and they were sharing the concert with two other bands. Maybe only a fraction of these people were here for them specifically. And those who'd been familiar with Roselia would be judging her, Lisa, the newcomer. 

(When she thought about it more, possibly the audience for Roselia and PasuPare were made of different demographies.) 

No pre-recorded tracks would save her here. The thought rang constantly in her head, even when she shoved it aside, trying to focus on — ah, Yukina's introducing the band, _this is Roselia_ — and now she was nodding to Ako — _shit, it's about to start_ — 

Her grand debut, Lisa missed the intro by one fret. The discordant note seemed to remain echoing even after she'd muted the string and plucked the correct pitch. Lisa didn't dare to look at Yukina, but Sayo's scowl was large in her peripheral vision. She went on as she'd started, falling in and out of sync with the band. Lisa didn't even have the time to ruminate on her failure, all her concentration was poured on one bar to the next, latching to Ako's kick drum, no, to Sayo's guitar, to Rinko's piano… 

On the stage was a most terrible method to listen to Yukina's voice, or anyone else's performance for that matter. By the end Lisa didn't remember a single note about the others, only the litany of her mistakes. And the audience… oh, they'd applauded and cheered, but it was all for Yukina, or Sayo, or Ako and Rinko. For Lisa there was only scorn, but on the bright side, in her Roselia had a perfect culprit for their subpar performance. 

Lisa couldn't meet anyone's eye after that. Even knowing that she deserved their disappointment, she was too cowardly to face Yukina. The fatigue of two weeks of sleepless nights and constant practice decided to crash on her shoulders. But not yet. There was still PasuPare's show. That was where she belonged, surely, as this night had proved. Sayo would agree — now she knew why Sayo had nudged her into skipping the review session. 

Bidding the others a quick goodbye after getting changed, Lisa exited CiRCLE without ensuring anyone had heard her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So about that failed live some of you have been expecting...


	9. Strike Three

Less than twenty four hours later, much, much sooner than Lisa had thought she'd ever see Sayo again, which was never, a message came from her requesting to meet backstage. And that Hina must never know. Curiosity warred with shame, but listlessness came to its aid and won the day, and after obtaining permission from PasuPare's manager, Lisa slipped outside. 

Owing to the undeniable proof that she was Hina's twin, Sayo was allowed inside, but just. Lisa wondered what had brought her — filing a complaint for yesterday's live? Sayo's brows furrowed the moment she saw Lisa, and her stare was growing uncomfortably intense. Lisa suppressed the urge to pull on her costume's low, low cut and looked away, which was the moment she noticed Yukina hiding in Sayo's shadow. 

"Yukina! Sayo didn't mention you — what are you two doing here?" 

Sayo seemed to come back to herself and dropped her gaze, leaving Yukina to answer, somewhat peevishly, "Yesterday you left without saying anything. You also never mentioned to me you'd play another show the very next day after Roselia's." 

"Ahaha, sorry, it must've… slipped my mind?" Lisa hadn't, because she'd assumed Sayo would've mentioned it first. Neither did, perhaps sensing that Yukina would reject Lisa if she'd known. And given her performance yesterday, Yukina would've been justified. Resigned, Lisa said, "Look, Yukina, I'm sorry for not telling you, and then giving that performance last night, it must be like I've swindled you." 

"I don't need your apology. It's not going to make you play any better." Lisa lowered her gaze, chastised. And then back up again in confusion as Yukina continued, "And I'm definitely not here to watch you try to compensate for last night." 

Sayo cleared her throat. "As Minato-san said, even seasoned and well-prepared musicians make mistakes on stage. It's more important to learn from those mistakes." 

"Uh, I get that, but back up a bit, you're here to watch me…?" 

Yukina crossed her arms and lifted her chin. Lisa didn't remember when she'd started making that gesture, but as a young girl Yukina did it whenever she was embarrassed. "It's not a fair assessment if I don't take into account your performance in your natural environment." 

Despite everything, Lisa couldn't help the hope seeping into her voice. "So, when you said assessment, you mean — I mean, I guess you're still looking for a bassist, and I'm still in the running?" 

Yukina shrugged. But before Lisa could get excited, Sayo was there to dump a bucket of ice on her. "I would suggest not to jump to conclusions, Imai-san." 

Yukina shot her a sharp look. "Really now, Sayo, _you_ went behind my back to sneak her into Roselia. And didn't you say at the review session that Lisa had potential?" 

"So I did. And I also said it's a shame she's already contracted to a different band." Sayo turned to Lisa, frowning mightily. "Allow me to put this bluntly so as not to waste anyone's time. I am opposed to anyone who would think nothing of breaking a contract simply because an old friend asked her to." 

Sayo sounded offended, even disgusted, even though Lisa had more right to it. She felt hurt, in fact, as if Sayo had betrayed her. That after their camaraderie and Sayo's own admission that she'd been wrong about Lisa — that it was all a lie, and Sayo still disdained Lisa's character. And Lisa was so, so tired. 

Lowering her voice she said, "And now that you don't need me anymore you're back to looking down on me, huh. Almost like you're afraid of something. What do you think I am? You know nothing about me!" 

"I know enough. You started playing the bass because of Minato-san and then abandoned it, and even then you hadn't treated it seriously. You joined an _idol band_ because _Hina_ dragged you into it. And despite signing a business contract, despite the effect it'd have on your bandmates' career, you're considering breaking everything to be with Minato-san. I've always said it, Roselia isn't a place for playing with friends. I will not accept anyone who plays music for anything but the music itself." 

Lisa moved. She didn't realize she'd stepped closer, almost nose to nose with Sayo, until Yukina interrupted. "Enough. Sayo, we didn't come here to antagonize Lisa. And Lisa — " here she tempered her voice " — you should focus on the show first." 

And if anyone lived music for the sake of itself it would be Yukina. It was Sayo who backed down first, head jerking in Lisa's direction as though bowing. Lisa barely remembered to nod in return. _I'll show you_ , she thought. Who or what she was going to show she wasn't clear herself. 


	10. Bubble Bobble Dance

Lisa nearly plowed into Chisato on her way back. All that idol dancing training was finally good for something as both pivoted out of the way. Chisato took one look at Lisa, and swatted Lisa's apology like an annoying mosquito. 

"I've been looking for you. And for this I need your head to be in the game." 

Seeing Chisato's uncharacteristic impatience, Lisa put Sayo — the one who lived in her head — on a time out. "I'm listening. What's wrong?" 

The files of their studio-recorded performance had become corrupted, she said, and for one reason or another the replacements couldn't be sent in time. The staff were considering cancelling the show entirely — the hit to their reputation, while bad, would be preferable to the critical damage of being exposed as frauds. Which was exactly why Hina, genius that she was, saw it as an opening to lobby the agency into allowing PasuPare to play as themselves. She'd gotten Aya and even Maya on the train. The only missing piece was Lisa. 

Chisato smiled beatifically. "Because only one of us thinks of Pastel*Palettes as a fraud." 

Only then did she had all of Lisa's attention. Normally Chisato's disapproval operated firmly within plausible deniability, only there when Lisa felt overtly self-conscious. Chisato was a professional, a consummate actress. 

Slowly, Lisa pieced together Chisato's behavior around PasuPare lately. "You don't want to drop the pretend play. You don't want Pastel*Palettes to become a real band, because that'd mean you have to actually put time into playing the keyboard." 

"I knew you were sharper than you looked," Chisato said, still with the same mirthless smile. "So I'll be quick. I'm terribly sorry for eavesdropping, by the way, though I only heard the last part. But this works out for you too, Lisa-chan. Sayo-chan couldn't blame you for quitting when it was the agency who pushed for our disbandment. Even she must understand the show business is just business after all." 

So Chisato had overheard Sayo accuse Lisa of preparing to betray her bandmates in a heartbeat, after correctly sniffing out the part of her that looked down on their line of work. The rest, however. "Er, disbandment?" 

Chisato looked at her as though she was retracting her earlier praise. "Idols are seasonal commodities, Lisa-chan. Give them enough reason to drop their support and they will move to the next gullible young things." 

Lisa had guessed wrong. Chisato hadn't wanted to preserve the status quo at all — she'd wanted to grant Aya and Hina's wish to play live — she'd wanted to kill PasuPare. It seemed that Chisato believed either they would perform disastreously, or that their fans would notice the drop in quality from their previous live shows. Or her actress jobs had finally taken off and she'd gotten tired of fitting PasuPare into her schedule. There would be a scandal either way. Chisato had written PasuPare off as a loss, the same as the staff had. And probably because Lisa herself had been sidelining PasuPare these past couple of weeks, combined with what she'd heard from Sayo, Chisato had assumed Lisa would work with her to ensure the worst case scenario would come to pass. 

But first, they must convince the higher-ups to allow the show to continue. Walking into the dressing room was like barging into a funeral. PasuPare's manager and the agency's president on one side, the other girls on the other. Only Hina seemed to be vibrating out of excitement. Aya lit up with something like hope when she saw Lisa, but feeling inexplicably guilty, Lisa avoided looking back at her. 

"Well anyway, now that the cavalry's here," Hina said, the shine in her eyes brightening tenfold, "As I was saying, what've you got to lose? If we do too badly you could've just cut off the power and blame technical difficulties. The publicity can't be any worse than canceling now due to, aha, it's technical difficulties again." 

"Please, give us a chance!" Aya bowed as though scooping the bottom of her heart. All her hopes and dreams, and her vulnerabilities as well, all loaded into her appeal. Truly, Aya was an idol. She even got Maya to add her voice. Then it was Chisato's turn, and glancing meaningfully once at Lisa, she made her appeal. Just as planned. 

And Lisa, whatever else she was, Lisa was weak to desperate people, let alone desperate people who needed her in particular. So she too added her head to the train. "Please allow us to show the fruits of our training until now. I'm prepared to take responsibilities for any problems that occur." 

She waited with bated breath, not moving even when the president let out a booming laugh and clapped her bare shoulder. His hand was clammy and heavy and rough, and Lisa did her best to hide her discomfort. To think she'd been doing so well in not encouraging his interest in her, too. But whatever it was, the president gave his approval. The show would go on with Pastel*Palettes, the real girls on the stage plugged in. 

The staff left to make their preparations. Aya sagged with relief, clinging on Lisa's arms for balance. "I can't believe it. He really said OK. Oh, Lisa-chan, it's all thanks to you. If you hadn't pushed us to keep practicing as though it's for the real thing — oh no, I've forgotten some of the lyrics already!" 

While Hina and Maya dealt with a panicking Aya — it seemed Aya hadn't expected her wish to be granted at all — Lisa caught Chisato and pulled her into the hallway. "Having second thoughts?" said Chisato, seeing through Lisa's guilt right away. "That's all right, I suppose. At this point you don't need to be deliberate about it. It'd seem more suspicious." 

Even Chisato didn't think much of Lisa's musicianship. But for once her inability would work in her favor. It was the perfect solution to her dilemma. Lisa wouldn't have to quit if the agency had disbanded them first. She wouldn't even have to screw up too much and appear too incompetent in Yukina and Sayo's eyes — PasuPare had never truly performed live on stage, they were bound to make embarrassing, and more importantly, obvious mistakes. Then she would be free to join Roselia. 

She would just have to sabotage herself and her band, proving herself to be the unscrupulous and fraudulent musician Sayo had pegged Lisa to be. The thought filled her with disgust, but more than anything it sapped the righteous indignation that had fueled her thus far. Lisa finally realized two things: that everything she'd done with PasuPare had been in the hopes of someday making it into Roselia; and that there was no future in which she would get her wish. 

"Lisa-chan? Focus. You're still an idol. If mean to salvage what's left of your reputation after this, you'll focus. The only bad idol, or any artist, is one who let contempt for their fanbase show." 

Lisa shook off her despondent thoughts. Chisato was right, as usual. And she was getting impatient. But still. "What, not gonna tell me to love and be grateful to my fans no matter what?" 

Chisato gave her a jaundiced look. "I suppose you're still new to the business. Although while we're being frank, it's not one that suits you. The music is the least important part of being an idol, and any success you have on that front will be attributed to your feminine wiles." 

"So basically just like any other careers." Lisa didn't mean to be snappish, but they were running out of time. Her own fault, but. "Listen, Chisato, you're an actress, aren't you? I mean, this idol gig is just a stepping stone to get back there." 

Her hapless guesswork seemed to be true as Chisato crossed her arms. "That's how the entertainment world works, yes, even for indie artists who are above being bound to labels." 

"So even if this is the last — no, especially because it's the last time — I'm asking you to play your role until the end like the professional you are. Shirasagi Chisato, Pastel Yellow, the veteran we all look up to and cherish." 

Bang, and out came Hina from the dressing room, but contrary to Lisa's expectation she ran in the opposite direction with Aya in tow and Maya chasing them. Chisato's lips seemed to be caught in a spasm. Then she resolutely ignored them and turned back to Lisa. "Is that what it comes down to, an idealistic professionalism?" 

Lisa hadn't thought of it that way, but she supposed it fit. "I know I'm a poor musician, and I've abandoned music once, but if I can't take pride in what I do, if I'm not always giving my best, even as far as sabotaging my own performance, then I've got less than nothing." 

"There are more important things than artistic pride or integrity," Chisato said at last, tired and older than her years. "And I hope you'll understand that before the world makes you. Now come, Lisa-chan, the stage awaits." 

Her grip on Lisa's shoulder — the same shoulder the president had held earlier — was firm and gentle. 

— 

Lisa suspected Chisato only agreed with her — not that Chisato'd explicitly acknowledged it — because Pastel*Palettes were guaranteed to perform poorly. Even if they didn't have their previous live shows to compare to, perfect thanks to studio and agency magic, all the factors were lined up against them. They were five disparate personalities with differing levels of skills and ideas of the performance they wanted to turn out. For one, Lisa couldn't say she believed Chisato was doing her best. Though this lack of faith in one's bandmates couldn't have helped their performance, either. 

But their studio rehearsals paid off. Even when Hina went off on her own tangent Lisa'd had enough practice to chase after her, and Hina remembered to return home eventually. Aya kept marching on through her mistakes, guided by Maya's steady drum beat. And despite clocking the least rehearsal time, Chisato also registered the least mistakes by Lisa's reckoning. 

And as for Lisa herself, the knowledge that she would make mistakes, there was no avoiding it, seemed to have freed her. Or maybe it was her confidence shattered by last night's failure, or her pride dented by the realization that she had nothing to show Sayo. Nothing to prove and nothing to gain, all she had was the music and the magic of the moment. It was the her best performance yet. 

_There'll be better ones_ , she vowed to herself as she bowed to the applause. If it was a little subdued than expected — well, she honestly couldn't care less. Let the agency crunch the numbers. For the same reason she'd avoided looking at the audience furthest from the stage, where the two most — no, it didn't matter now. 

_It would've been nice if this one could've gone just a little longer, though._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of this chapter the number of comments rival that of the kudoses. Granted half of those numbers are my replies, but I've never had that happen to me. Thank you for your kudoses and comments, they kept me going. Although now I wonder if I should've published In Ten Minutes in scene-by-scene installments like this...


	11. Magpie in Wonderland 2

Not even a week later, an accident happened that rendered it all irrelevant. Accidents were like that, Lisa's father would say in the aftermath, more boisterous and touchy than usual to hide how ashen he'd looked. Things were going well. You started wanting more, making plans for the future. The rats in the ceiling laughed. Though it was debatable how well things had been going. 

(Lisa's father then followed it up with a sagacious advice to let a cat have at the rats, but uplifting words could be annoying when one was numbed by analgesics.) 

They'd been walking home together after a rehearsal session. Hina had been in a good mood, teasing Chisato once again (she'd remarked on it already back at the office) for her rare participation. Understandably, even a professional actress like Chisato seemed annoyed. 

"Hina-chan, surely you noticed all the flaws in our last performance?" 

"You mean our first?" 

"Either way, it's important to learn from our mistakes while it was still fresh in our minds," Chisato said firmly, sending a furtive glare at Lisa, who beamed back. Chisato doth protest too much, but like Hina, Lisa was elated she seemed to be staying around for now, even putting in more work into PasuPare. Despite still having rehearsals for her upcoming stage play. _Ah, or maybe it was over already?_ During the crunch period, Lisa was ashamed to admit to herself that she'd let pretty much everything else fall to the wayside. But she had time now, and bursting with the mysterious energy that had come with the realization that she could, just maybe, play music for real. Never mind Yukina or Sayo. For fun or for profit, Lisa wasn't picky, but the money wouldn't be too bad. 

As she was about to distract Chisato from lecturing Hina, Maya said, "Aya-san, watch out!" and held back Aya before she could cross the street. The light had just turned red, and only Aya had kept walking. She came back to herself, clinging and thanking Maya. 

"You've been out of it today, Aya," said Lisa. "What's up?" 

"It's — oh, it's really not a big deal. It's just that I was egosearching — " 

"You were what?" Hina, a cat who'd happened on an absent-minded mouse. 

Aya's arms wheeled about her. "W-Well, that's important for our job too, you know, I want to know what people thought about the show. And overall they seemed to like it but… they also started talking about how it sounded different from before. And then someone thought we might've been faking it until last weekend. And the rest doesn't say it but I think there's a lot more who agreed." 

Silence, as the light turned green and they crossed the road. Across, two young middle-school boys were jostling with each other on their bikes. One of them noticed Hina watching and yelled at her. In return Hina flipped the bird, prompting a rebuke from Chisato. Underneath her professional mask and fossilized jadedness she was just a strict oldest sister, their Pastel Yellow. 

Ignoring Chisato entirely, Hina said, "So, what's the big deal? Isn't that what everyone thinks of idols anyway? Is anyone gonna believe it's us in our studio recordings and not Aya-chan's voice slapped on session musicians' jamming?" 

Lisa winced. Hina had quoted their boss's argument for why they hadn't been plugged in initially. And why they could return to pretend play in the future. But also… "Wait, what studio recordings?" 

Hina and Maya exchanged glances. "Ah… this is off the record and just based on what I heard around sessions with the veterans," Maya said, lowering her voice, "But you could sort of tell the longevity of a group from how quickly they got slated for the first single." 

The sun was red and bright in her eyes. Lisa squinted. "And since we don't even have lessons scheduled for this week…" She wasn't sure what she felt knowing Pastel*Palettes' could be canned sooner than later, now that she'd decided to stick with it. Maybe more disappointed than relieved. 

From here on her memories of the events were blurry. The boys Hina had flipped were taking their revenge. By whizzing close enough that the handle grazed Hina's sleeve, they seemed to be hoping to scare her. Except Hina was gifted with almost supernatural reflexes too, and she evaded them while laughing as though it was a game. It escalated from there. Lisa remembered trying to pull Hina out of the way, except she too had forgotten about Hina's reflexes, and they collided instead, sending Lisa into the road, where a car had just made a too fast turn, probably while blinded by the sunset. 

She remembered being concerned about the bass she'd been carrying, and after that, her hands, and then her head. Therefore in one of her pain-induced delirium she was glad it had been her leg instead. 

The boys escaped. So did the car. Chisato was the first to regain her senses and called an ambulance. The rest up to the operating theatre was a blur. The next thing Lisa remembered was waking up to her parents' pale and tired faces. Overall she'd been lucky. Her shattered right leg would mean months of rest, but aside from the bruises she wasn't injured elsewhere. 

* * *

Months of rest, then, meant she never got to find out if the agency had intended to suspend Pastel*Palettes' activity while waiting for the rumors to die out. Out of consideration for Lisa, so the agency's press announced, Pastel*Palettes' would cease all activity indefinitely. Chisato, for one, didn't seem to find it a great loss. It was Chisato who had relayed the news, visiting with Aya on the day Lisa was cleared for visitors. 

"It's unfortunate, but that's the best we could do," Chisato said. "It would seem odd for an idol group to continue without one of their key members." 

"I'm not key — and anyway I don't mind if you guys go on without me." Lisa looked at Aya. Right now she had on her kicked puppy face despite trying to hide it. Lisa vaguely recalled Aya's employment status having an expiration date the rest of them didn't. 

Aya shook her head vigorously. "We're not going to abandon you, Lisa-chan! And it's not your fault that you got in an accident. Don't worry about us, we still have our other work. You just focus on getting better." 

That went without saying, Lisa thought bitterly, she hadn't asked the car to run her over either. But it was still thanks to Lisa that everyone in Pastel*Palettes were out of a job. Well, except for one person. "It's a shame, though, I was looking forward to seeing Chisato — that's right, Chisato, what about your stage play?" 

"That was two weeks ago." 

It felt like a lifetime ago that Lisa had spent drowning in Roselia's music. She hung her head in disappointment. "Aw, and I really was looking forward to it, too." 

"So much that you'd completely forgotten about it," Chisato bit out. Then she seemed to relent and bite her lip. "I'm sorry, that was unnecessary." 

As Lisa was processing the fact that Chisato had just apologized — and admitted Lisa's negligence had bothered her? — two more visitors arrived. Maya, coming straight from Haneoka, with Yukina lurking in her shadows. 

"Yamato-san had wanted to know your room number," Yukina grumbled, in response to Lisa's open-mouthed stare. "I had to make sure I hadn't led her astray. And you've been avoiding me since your show." 

"I guess?" Lisa didn't remember doing it deliberately, but if Yukina had felt so it must've been true. The thought of Yukina expecting her attention made her feel… something that was smothered by the drugs. 

Aya's eyes had lit up. "Oh, oh, Yukina-chan, was it? You saw our show? What do you think?" 

Lisa saw Maya wince and sympathized. As Yukina's classmate, Maya probably had a premonition of the scathing comment that was sure to come. But all Yukina said was, "You should've rehearsed more, especially live on stage. And Lisa seemed to have more fun with your band than mine." 

"Yukina, that's practically nice by your standards. Are you sure _you_ haven't hit your head?" Lisa couldn't help teasing, and Yukina couldn't help retorting, "Not as badly as you did, apparently," and for a moment it was like she'd her childhood friend back. _Too bad I gotta have an accident first._

"But I'm glad your hands are fine," Yukina said, staring fixatedly at Lisa's hands. "As are the rest of you, of course. What I'm trying to say… Lisa, if this is going to put you out of work…" 

When she simply trailed off, Lisa said, "Sorry Yukina, but I've taken too much painkiller to read your mind." 

The proud frontman of Roselia lifted her chin. "Roselia's still auditioning for a bassist." 

And maybe the painkiller was giving her auditory hallucinations. "Er, and that means…" 

Chisato's hand flew up to her mouth for a moment. Then she said, "Let's not make Lisa-chan think too much while she's still recovering." 

Yukina turned to Chisato as though seeing her for the first time. "And who and what are you to Lisa, again?" 

Thanks to Maya and Aya the conversation remained civil, and by the end everyone was introduced to each other. They didn't stay long, being busy people. Lisa was actually grateful for it. As happy as she was to have familiar faces around her, she was exhausted, and honestly a terrible company to have at the moment. And she had much to think, though she suspected thinking was all she would have in the near future. 

Yukina needed her bass. So did Pastel*Palettes. Though neither of them needed her specifically, but Lisa was convenient. On the flip side, she was sure Chisato, though not cold-hearted enough to be happy about the accident itself, surely wouldn't mind Pastel*Palettes' disbandment as its consequence. And Sayo had been all but explicit about not wanting Lisa in Roselia. She could hear her voice now, _You would screw your band for the sake of an old friend_ … But Sayo had it wrong, for an old friend's dream, Lisa would even turn down the chance to become closer to her… 

" — awake, Lisa-chi?" 

Even in her dream, Hina followed Sayo wherever she went. "Yeah, sure." 

"Quietly, Hina — " 

"Lisa-chi! I'm sorry!" 

The next thing Lisa knew, Hina had crossed into the real world and landed on Lisa, heavily. Hot on her heels was Sayo, pulling Hina off Lisa while scolding her sister for 'aggravating Imai-san's plight.' 

"I must be dreaming," Lisa said. She might still be. The Hikawa twins in the same room, getting along. "Actually, I _was_ dreaming of you, Sayo. And then here you are!" 

Sayo shrugged uncomfortably. "Hina was beside herself with worry and guilt, but she didn't dare to visit unless I came along." 

"That's revisionist, Onee-chan, you kept asking me how Lisa-chi was doing and when I was planning to visit," Hina said. 

Sayo grimaced, but she didn't deny it either. "We last parted on bad terms," she said, not quite looking at Lisa's eye, "and it occurred to me, even absent your near-brush with death, how awful it'd have been if my last words to you were nothing but scorn. Is it so odd?" she said defensively. 

"I mean, most people wouldn't bother to follow up on the person they hate and don't want to see ever again." 

Sayo's frown deepened. "Do you think I hate you?" 

Oops. Lisa had been too blunt. She blamed the painkiller. "It's just, I gotta wonder if there was something personal, you know, when Roselia needs a bassist, and Sayo here's been nothing but encouraging in her own strict way, but then drop kick me in the head when Yukina so much as suggested I audition for Roselia." 

Hina turned to Sayo, eyes glimmering as though this was a talk show and she was the host. "And Onee-chan also thought you didn't like her, Lisa-chi. Right?" 

"I… was convinced Imai-san would quickly tire of Roselia… and that she would find me a bore and a dullard…" Sayo cleared her throat, hiding pink cheeks behind her fist. "Hina, could you get me coffee?" 

"Don't think that's gonna be good for your throat, but okay, there's a vending machine — " 

"From the cafe on the ground floor, please." Sayo dropped the change in Hina's hand. Puzzled but also oddly pleased, Hina voluntarily kicked herself out of the room. 

Lisa wished she hadn't; the silence was more awkward than she could handle right now. "So it's got to do with Hina somehow." 

Sayo pressed a finger to her temple. "…I've already apologized for underestimating you. You asked me what I was afraid of. It would seem to strike true more than you might've thought. I don't have any reasonable objections to having you join us. Quite the opposite, as it would complete Minato-san's vision for Roselia. At the same time it might also break up Hina's band — and a part of me liked that idea very much, to take something precious away from Hina, to make her know what it feels like." 

The edges of her lips quirked up. It wasn't a smile; Lisa treasured the one glimpse of Sayo's true smile, and she knew it had none of the loneliness radiating from her now. "And I was afraid, even repulsed that I'd let my envy of Hina grow to that extent. You were a convenient outlet, and at the time the link between me and Hina. I apologize, Imai-san." 

"Never mind that now. I've suspected things weren't quite all right between you two but it sounds like it's so much worse." 

"All my fault. Ever since we were little Hina was preternaturally good at everything she tries her hands on. And yet inexplicably, she would always imitate everything I do, just to remind me how much better she is at anything. I realize Hina didn't mean it that way, yet I can't make myself see otherwise." 

Seeing Sayo pour her heart out galvanized Lisa's meddling spirit. It was the only thing keeping the pain and drowsiness at bay, and it was losing. The best Lisa could come up with was, "But you seem to be getting along well right now." 

"Is that how you see it? Well, it's thanks to you. I have never seen Hina so overcome with guilt and worry for another person before. It reminded me that more than her talents or her penchant to annoy me, more important than anything else is the fact that she's my little sister. And I, unworthy I may be, I am the only older sister she has and looks up to." 

"Glad to be of service, I guess?" There was pride among the self-deprecation, which Lisa decided was better than purely the latter, though she didn't understand why. Or why Sayo'd decided now was a good time to vent her spleen. It seemed Sayo finally caught on to the weirdness of the situation, and ducked her head with shame. "I'm sorry, you're in pain and here I am prattling on and on." 

"A little bit." Lisa laughed, jostling everything that could hurt. Ow. "But I'm happy you're opening up to me. Thank you, Sayo!" 

Well, healthy Lisa might appreciate getting a new friend. Therefore recuperating Lisa would put up with Sayo and Hina, just a bit. Sayo's small, sheepish smile made it almost worth the effort. 

…All that, and by the time she'd sent the twins off, Lisa still had no idea what Sayo now thought of her joining Roselia, or if Chisato had found Pastel*Palettes acceptable. And a third possibility, that neither would be waiting for her by the time she could stand with her own legs on stage. And when the time came - well, what of it, Lisa thought, by then wouldn't have any need of them either. Maybe. Hopefully. 

Just before she nodded off, her eyes fell on the bass case resting in the corner. By her request, her parents had left it there. There was no point to it. Lisa wasn't in any condition to practice in the hospital, and she didn't derive any comfort from its presence. She wasn't that much of a musician. But a sense of purpose, or a proof of her youthful willfulness, whatever that meant. Something to look forward to doing as soon as she was discharged. A lifeline.

_I dropped you once, and now that I've picked you up again I won't let you go any time soon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend noted that Lisa is always getting injured, and yes, she is, but I'm hoping to go into a different direction this time.
> 
> The chapter was getting long, but then I thought, well, I didn't keep the chapters short for the cliffhangers, so out in one go it is. I was going to tack on an Act 3 after this, but after further thought it might be better if it's posted separately as a sort of full-fledged postscript.


End file.
